Do you remember being told as a first time mom “you won’t do that with your second kid”?
This phrase used to annoy me to no end. I was always thinking, “of course I’m still going to do that!”
I had no idea what they were talking about. I always pictured that commercial where with the first kid the mom is hand sanitizing everything and with her second she just hands the kid to the mechanic to write a check.
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That’s definitely not me. I’m still hand sanitizing everything and I definitely won’t be handing my baby over to just anyone. But there’s definitely a difference this time around.
Now that I have two kids, I’ve been thinking about the differences and why they say your second kid is different.
Why Your Second Kid Is Different
I’m more confident in my abilities as a mom. I’m not as worried that I’ll do something wrong.
I think this is the biggest reason why your second kid is different. Bugs is a happy, thriving two-year old. I did it all once and I can do it again.
They Can’t Cry Forever
I know she’ll stop crying. Anytime my first would cry, I’d get so worried. I didn’t want him to cry at all.
That’s so unrealistic. Of course baby’s are going to cry. Some just need to cry more than others.
And now I know, they will eventually stop. This has made me less panicked when Little Miss starts crying and I think since I’m more calm, she stops crying sooner.
Also, not wanting Bugs to cry made us develop bad habits. Like bouncing him every time he cried. So he always needed that.
This time around, we don’t bounce, but help soothe in other ways that aren’t as hard on your back.
I don’t care what other people think. Now I’ve never been one that cares about what others think. But as a brand new mom I was worried.
Will people think he’s crying too much? Will I look weird lugging around a baby? Will someone say something to me while I breastfeed or bottle feed?
Your second kid is different because now I just don’t care. I wear my sling and if I look like a complete tool, so what. I still cover up when breastfeeding, but hey I gotta feed my kid.
It is what it is, most people think she’s just sleeping under the cover anyway. I’m doing what I have to do and what’s best for me and my kids. If you don’t like it, tough cookies.
I’m not as worried about sleep. Now some of this is because Little Miss is just a way better sleeper than Bugs was. I found the Halo Sleepsack with Bugs and knew it would work this time around too.
Once she was out of the Sleepsack and hit that four month regression we knew to start sleep training. I know she has to fuss a little and to follow her lead when it comes to sleep.
I also know I can’t be the one to constantly put her to sleep: see bouncing above. Your second kid is different because you made all the sleep mistakes with the first.
Also, I found slings and so I can do stuff while she sleeps.
Toddlers are way harder. I remember thinking the baby stage was the hardest. Boy was I wrong.
Now that I’m dealing with toddler tantrums and his fickle attitude it makes dealing with an infant all the easier. Each stage has its own pros and cons, but having a toddler definitely makes me love the baby stage more than I used to.
When people would tell me that I’d be different with my second, it used to annoy me. But I understand what they’re talking about now.
I didn’t become less paranoid or anal about parenting (I’m very type A). But I’ve definitely settled into my role as a mom more and therefore it’s ‘easier’ the second time around.